It’s singles day folks! A day that is like a special journey for those flying solo in a world that mostly loves and celebrates couples.
I suppose it’s a good thing that Singles Day is always here to give single individuals the recognition they truly deserve. In case you’re not familiar with it, think of it as Valentine’s Day for those not attached, especially in China, where the date 11/11, resembling two sticks, symbolises individuality and celebrates the unattached while recognising the value of being single.
Even though I’m no longer single, November 11th remains a day filled with memories of my solo adventures. Making it a day where I reflect on the best things I did to savour being single and why they matter in achieving individual happiness.
Remember that being single is totally normal
It’s not a punishment or bad luck. Society often puts too much focus on romantic relationships, making being single seem odd. But understanding that it’s a common phase allows for a positive outlook.
Not having a partner doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It’s a chance for personal growth and self-discovery. Embrace this mindset to break free from societal pressures, appreciating the unique journey of being single without feeling less-than.
In simple terms, accepting that being single is normal opens the door to self-love and contentment, dispelling any ideas of inadequacy or bad luck.
Single-hood offers freedom
Being single lets you focus on personal growth—discover strengths, passions, and goals without relationship compromises. It’s not a waiting period but a chance to build meaningful connections and support systems through friendships. This is the time to explore your interests, dive into passions, and align life goals intentionally. Without romantic entanglements, you have the freedom to cultivate a path of self-discovery. For me, that freedom came through solo travelling and just watching whatever I wanted on TV. Whenever.
Also, try making quality friendships a priority. Not all are. But those that you feel are, do really offer deep, meaningful connections never mind advice regarding relationships. It doesn’t matter where or when you are alone, you have a chance that offers you a transformative journey. You have the opportunity as a single person to foster independence and broaden perspectives through diverse cultural experiences that create memorable events.
So go pursue happiness with intention.
Avoid the desperation and embrace Self Love
Do not rush into relationships just because you want to be with someone. Or your clock is ticking, or you need to impress your parents or catch up with peers etc. You need to establish healthy boundaries, make decisions that align with your personal values, and prioritise your well-being and happiness. Unfortunately, a lot of us sometimes tend to make the mistake of believing that a relationship is a quick fix for loneliness or insecurity. I surely did in my previous relationships.
Oh, how I do vividly remember how in the 30s, the concept of being single took centre stage in my thoughts, particularly in the late mid to early-late 30s phase – if that distinction makes sense. Many friends around me had stable relationships, some tying the knot, and I found myself occasionally pondering why I hadn’t met someone I truly adored with a mutual reception. These thoughts always consumed my days and nights – which really left constant negative whispers twisting my ears. It wasn’t until I turned 37 that I actually really stopped being bothered and actually started embracing my singleness and actually loved being single.
With a switch in my thoughts, I began to prioritise self-love and began understanding that my value wasn’t tied to being in a relationship. This helped me resist the urge to rush into relationships out of desperation – because oftentimes this can lead to very unfulfilling relationships in the end a lot of unhappiness and frustration.
Invest yourself in a hobby
Today what I have discovered is, that nurturing your passions is a powerful way to find fulfilment. Whether it’s photography, cooking, or learning a new language, engaging in activities that resonate with you not only enriches your life but also makes you a more interesting and fulfilled individual.
And while you’re busy focusing on individual needs in your hobbies, you might just meet the mR. or Mrs right. And this approach ensures that the connections you make are based on genuine compatibility and shared goals. And when you share interests and goals with someone, believe me, a soft non-complicated life is within reach. Suddenly, you’ll be the happy you always wanted.
Shift your mindset; don’t rush into relationships for the wrong reasons
Sadly, many of us get tangled in societal expectations, the ticking clock, parental pressure, peer pressure etc. Learn to resist settling prematurely.
Fortunately, I, as a first-born child, experienced no parental pressure. However, thinking about my 20s, I desperately sought perfect relationship milestones – marriage, children in my early 30s, being a wife. Looking back, it’s honestly amusing how this desperation led me into unsavoury relationships. Eventually, I realised relationships can’t guarantee happiness. That realisation prompted me to embrace my own thinking, prioritising my well-being. Truthfully, adopting this mindset nurtured a healthier approach to relationships and a happier me, whether single or not.
Above all else, Relish Independence
Yes, buy yourself flowers if you have to. Book a table for one and take yourself to that favourite fancy restaurant. Trust me, nobody cares. Only you care. Most of all, make it all about your own happiness – and that should be enough. The rest is complementary.
Lest you forget, independence is like the superhero cape that comes with singlehood. You get to make decisions just for you.
And as the world celebrates Singles this November, let’s make it a personal celebration of all the cool things that make us who we are. Treat yourself to some good food, practice a bit of self-care, and bask in the joy of being wonderfully you. Travel solo, explore new places, and enjoy doing things your way. The more you appreciate this independence, the more happiness you can unearth within it.
So, here’s to all the singles out there. It’s your day, (month, year or whatever). Just always remember being single isn’t just okay; it’s wonderful! Cheers to the unique journey of self-discovery, personal growth, and the happiness that comes with being unattached.
Enjoy every bit of it!
